That... doesn't feel right...

Time to say goodbye...

Keeping the pain inside

well, i just made this up... i'm pretty depressed for a while now...

Its painful, yet no one notice it
so i guess i'll hide it, forever
is it still a fantasy:
being in love with a person?

Still, I want to cry out loud
shout to the top of my lungs
all the hatred I kept inside my heart;
everything, till i drop to my knees

I still wonder how long i will last
for sure i do not know yet
i turned introvert, paranoid
just by thinking if she like me too

Or maybe killing myself is better
no one listen to me anyway
no one cared, no one even got curious
of what i might feel

guess i just have to wait
like i did for five years
until i find the right time to say it,
or until i break down...

Feels like days are passing very slow... If only anyone know how i think these days... Well, no one knows except pon...

Did I say that i don't know what i should do? I never know... Should I tell her, or vanquish my thoughts and bury it in my heart? Should I stay, or believe in others?

Well, I'm the paranoid type, so inasmuch as possible i want to be away to people...

And if possible inasmuch as possible I want to be away from Lei... err... Maybe I should tell her at least...

Well, only fate can tell...

Days by High and Mighty Color

Well, one of my favorite songs... Kinda makes me feel sadder... Makes me feel hopeful... err... what a drag...  It's  a good song that's all,,,

-Sometimes I can smile

but it’s not my true smile X 4

Ano toki futari no aida wo suri nuketa kaze wa

Yasashiku hoo wo naderu

Kawara nai egao mite itai to tokimeku yo

Itsumono shingou watari sakamichi de senaka oikaketeru

I’ll never be as I was

Kimi ga ireba konna ni yasashiku nareru

Itsumo issho ni toki no REERU wo kakenuketai dokomademo

Hitamukina kimi no yokogao wo itsumadedemo mitsume ikitai yo

Zutto...

Sometimes I can smile

but it’s not my true smile X 2

Fuan na koto kakushite hanashiteru you na denwa no kimi no koe wa

Wazatorashiku akarui yo ne. Doushita no?

Damatta mama no futari wa nigeteru mitai de modokashikatta

I wanna stay by your side

Kimi to futari yori soi waratte hashaida

Ano basho kara mata tooku naru

Isogia shi no jikan wo kobandeta

Boku no kimochi wa tada atsuku natte

“Motto kimi ni aitai yo...”

Kimi he no itoshisa wo natsu ni omoi noseru wo

Atatakai hizashi abite

Kimi ga ireba konna ni yasashikunareru

Itsumo issho ni toki no REERU wo kakenuketai itsumademo

Hitamuki ni kimi no yokogao wo itsumadedemo mitsume ikitai yo...

Futari narande aruite waratte hashaida

Ano basho wa mou todoka nai yo ne

Soba ni ite, to yondemo sugoku setsunai

Kimi no koto wo dore kurai shitte ita no darou boku wa...

Onaji sakamichi wo ima mata aruki hajimeru yo

Atatakai hizashi abite

Shala la la ...

Kimi ga ireba...koko ni iru yo.

Translation:

Sometimes I can smile

But it's not my true smile

The wind that blew between us then

Tenderly brushed my cheek

My heart beats fast when I think how I want to see your unchanging smile

I chase after you as you cross at the usual signal on the hill

I'll never be as I was

If you're here, I can be this gentle

I want to run down the rail of time with you as far as it goes

I want to watch your earnest profile as long as I can

Forever...

Sometimes I can smile

But it's not my true smile

Your voice over the phone sounds falsely bright

As if you're hiding something that's worrying you. What's the matter?

It was irritating the way the two of us were silent; it felt like running away

I wanna stay by your side

I cuddled with you, laughed, and frolicked

I rejected the hurried time

That was so far from that place

My feelings just got more passionate

"I want to see you more..."

With my love for you drifting on the summer

Bathing in the warm sunlight

If you're here, I can be this gentle

I want to run down the rail of time with you as far as it goes

I want to watch your earnest profile as long as I can...

We walked together, laughing, and frolicking

We can't reach that place anymore, can we?

If I call out, "Stay by my side," it's really bittersweet

How well did know you...?

I'll start walking up that same hill again

Bathing in the warm sunlight

Shala la la...

If you're here... I'm here...